Post Hungary Blog Post 2

The other day I had this revelation. It hit me while I was talking with a friend in the car, I don’t feel the need to constantly get up and go places. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been gone for a month and am happy to be home again . . . but home wasn’t something I was especially looking forward to returning to while I was gone. I mean I love being home but it just wasn’t what I was dying to get back to.

And it wasn’t even this feeling that I didn’t want to go anywhere else again but just that I didn’t have this overwhelming drive inside me that I HAD to go somewhere else. I started realizing this after turning down a job in Canada. A job I’d been hoping to get since hearing about the position. (The reason wasn’t just cause I didn’t want to travel. lol.)

I realized that I just don’t have this need to go anywhere. Inside my soul I feel a strange thing that I haven’t felt before . . . or that I don’t ever remember feeling. I feel settled. I knew that while I was in Hungary I was changing. I just wasn’t sure how or the extent of it. I just knew that I felt like things inside me where shifting. It wasn’t until that day in the car with my friend that I realized: this is what changed.

My mom said it’s because when I went to Hungary I went home. And in some ways she’s right. Hungary was this elusive land I couldn’t quite reach. It was like the missing piece of me. The place I’d been trying to get to since I was three years old and begged my parents to let me go home with my grandparents. Everything felt so right in so many ways when I was there. Especially while I was in Gyula visiting my grandfather. It did feel like a home. Many times I wondered why I was leaving and when and how could I return as soon as possible.

I still love the idea of traveling to new places and believe me there are many adventures I want to have. But before I didn’t feel this need or desire to have a home to come back to. My home would be wherever I am—I mean that’s the premise of this blog. That wherever I go, my heart and home goes with me. I don’t need a base. I am my own base. And while in theory I still believe that, I do want a place to come back to. I don’t know what that will look like or who that will include or even where that will end up being. But there’s a settling happening in my heart and as much as I’m all about being that strong, independent women who travels all the time and doesn’t give a care about what or who she leaves behind, maybe I do care somewhere deep inside my heart. Maybe I do want to return to the same place after each adventure.

Who knows? This is definitely a new feeling and a new phase of my life.

Hungary | Post 1

It was about 1 a.m. eastern standard time but where I was it was 7 a.m. and my jet-lagged self was trying to hopelessly download the song Ridin’ by Chamillionaire on the slowest internet I’d ever used since dial-up in the mid 2000s while alternating between sitting in the cafeteria and standing outside near the office window hoping for the best signal I could get. I ended up unintentionally downloading three different versions of the song over a 30 minute period and paying for each one of them.

I was in the town of Gyula in Hungary near the Romanian boarder where I was visiting my grandfather for his 94^th birthday at the Adventist retirement home he lives at. It was the first time I’d ever been to Hungary and I didn’t speak the language, nor did I come with anyone who did. It was just me, my English, a few Hungarian words, and my desire to meet and get to know my Hungarian family, especially to be there for my grandfather’s birthday. Thankfully many of my family members did end up speaking English but for the first 10 days or so, it was just me, my grandfather, and a lot of people who didn’t speak any English.

Heading out!

It was very interesting. And I’ll be blogging about those times. But one of my favorite times with him was when we’d cruise the roads or ride into the city and around town, him on his three-wheel moped and me following behind him on my borrowed bike. Hence the need for the song. I was trying to do a short video of him on his moped cause he just looked so fun and cool riding it around.

I finally got the right version and added it to the nine-second video for Instagram, haha. $3+ dollars spent and all that time was totally worth it, too! Just like my entire trip to Hungary. Best trip I’ve ever taken and I can’t wait to go back, practice more of the awesome language, see even more of the beautiful country, and get to know my family better!

Anyway, blogging isn’t really my thing but I want to remember these stories and share them with my friends. I hope they end up being interesting enough to read. I’m always skeptical about my blog-writing. Oh well, I’ll try anyway. haha

Until next time, enjoy all nine-seconds of my grandfather cruisin' to the beats of Chamillionaire.

New Friends for Life

After meeting her for the first time I came back to my house and said, “I think I just met someone who is going to be in my life for a long time.”

Who knows really … it’s only been a week and a half, but sometimes you meet people and you just know from the very moment you meet them that they are going to be special to you.

She lives down the street from me in my new neighborhood. I’d been wanting to explore my neighborhood a bit so one evening I decided to take a walk and check out the different streets and cul-de-sacs. As I was walking by a driveway, this girl called out to me.

I’d never met her before but she introduced her sister and herself to me and soon we were walking together and talking about our lives and dreams and hopes and it was just like there was almost an audible click to our friendship.

We made a gym date for the very next day and the following day after that we went on a night-time tour of DC together with some of my other friends. Three days after that, we went out to eat for her birthday.

Every time we hang out it’s seriously like God brought our friendship together. There is absolutely NO way meeting her was a coincidence. And I’m so thankful that God allowed me to meet her … she has made Maryland more beautiful to me.

Maryland you WERE so easy to call home before you became my home

Maryland was my dream state. Every since I was a kid I dreamed of holidays and summers in what I thought was the most amazing state in the Union!

In fact . . . I would refer to Maryland as my home just as much as I would Tennessee (the state I was born and lived in my entire life).

Well . . . I grew up. And my love for this “most amazing” state waned. The reasons I’d fallen in love with it slowly filtered out of my life.

I was used to Annapolis (a beautiful, quaint and clean city) with fun family gatherings.

And so in college, I dreamed of being able to move “home.” During my junior and senior years of college I got internships in Maryland and felt like I was finally living the dream . . .

Then . . . wonder of wonders . . . I was offered a job in Maryland! Hellooooo . . . dream come true . . .

Yes, the job was the dream job I’d wanted straight out of college . . . but I realized that even though this was where I wanted to be in my newly minted career . . . I’d fallen out of love with Maryland.
When I came back I didn’t move to Annapolis. I moved to Prince Georges County . . . yeah . . . (PG county is so beautiful, quaint and clean said no Maryland resident ever . . .)

I didn’t hang out with family either. The reasons I’d come to this state the first time weren’t the reasons I was here this time.

The state suddenly seemed ugly, crowded and extremely dirty to me. I felt trapped. Tied down and uncertain of why I’d chosen to come back.

Yes, for work . . . and I loved my work. But when I got off work and left the building . . . that's when things became a bit of a drag where all I could see was miles and miles of backed up traffic.

Okay so how do I wrap this up in a positive way . . . well . . . this post kinda speaks to the reason I’m keeping this blog . . . even though I don’t love Maryland right now and maybe don’t want to call it my home . . . it happens to be my home. And so whether my heart wants to be here or not . . . my heart is stuck with my body and my body is here . . . therefore—wait for it—home is where the heart is! Haha . . . cheesy, I know . . . okay that’s it for now. :)

Spend thrift

The other night I walked into Target for two items. And I walked out of Target with only those two items.

Okay reason #23413 that I don’t like Maryland . . . it’s so darn expensive. And I’m not making tons of money . . . in fact at the moment I’m not making any regular money since I’m between jobs.

But I’ve always been the kind of kid who gets distracted by shiny objects she thinks she needs . . . well nothing teaches you better that you can really live on very little like not having a regular pay-check of your desired income.

I’m actually quite thankful for this time and lack of money to finally and for real teach me this lesson! Honestly, I thought I’d learned it earlier but realized after I bought too many new clothes at the beginning of the summer that I really hadn’t learned how to keep my money in my bank account! So, I’m learning now and not complaining at all! :)

Doing big things . . . well, not really, but it feels like that . . . on paper

Freelancing just went to the next stage. I have now written my first contract. I’ve written an invoice before . . . but a contract . . . a statement signed by the client before work is done to ensure that I get paid . . . well, I’ve never done that before . . . until now.

It’s such a small thing really, but it feels like such a big step somehow. Maybe because so much in my life seems big right now. The fact that I am renting . . . okay not by myself but still . . . this is kinda big . . . I'm supporting myself for the most part. Yeah, mom and dad still pay for my phone bill and my audible subscription but I think that's about it. 

It’s crazy . . . I feel like such a kid at the same time I'm trying to be an adult. Like nothing has changed and yet everything has. Oh well . . . I’m here . . . for now at least.

PS: If you're more of a Tumblr user, this blog will also be posted there (http://myheartmyhometown.tumblr.com/). So feel free to follow along wherever. I might make the switch over to just one eventually but for now I'll post in both places.

New Blog. So What.

Every now and then I start a new blog, keep up with it well for a while, get tired of it, and discard it. Then I start a new blog and do the same thing all over again. Sometimes though I'll recycle old blogs so as not to "waste" space on the internet. I am doing that this time.

Enjoying some raw food at the Takoma Park Folk Festival.

So . . . why a new blog though? Well, I just moved, and I'm in the middle of transitioning to a new job and a new state and paying my own bills and living independently while also learning to depend on a new community to help me when I can't quite stand on my own two feet. It can be a little overwhelming at times, but I definitely have been learning to trust God more and be still and wait on Him.

Since I'm in transition, I don't really feel like I have a home. Sometimes I feel like "my home" is spread across 20 hours of the east coast from Tennessee to Maryland to Maine. So instead of following the motto that home is where the heart is . . . I'm deciding to try and make wherever I end up . . . my home.